Serpentine Path to Happiness
by Spidey-phd
Summary: Holly Potter defeated Voldemort but the Fates weren't done with our young heroine. Transported to a new world of magical ninjas and super perverts, Holly stumbles through a succession of international crises with the grace and subtly of an Uzumaki. Fem!HP. Conversations with the man on the moon. Apprentice Shinigami. Immaculate Conception. Uzushiogakure restored.


Holly Potter was well acquainted with the machinations of the Fates in her prophesied destiny.

But it wasn't until the Moirai began to manipulate her daily life that the Girl-Who-Lived understood why even the gods had bowed and submitted to their rule.

Holly first noticed Clotho's invisible presence shortly after surviving the Killing Curse for the second time. With increasing frequency Holly began to sense intangible gossamer connections linking certain people, objects, locations, and events. She was unable to truly touch or view the delicate threads but there was an intensifying awareness of their existence. Once, when she had closed her eyes and tried to lightly run the ends of her fingertips along the path of one of the invisible threads, Holly had felt an amused presence in the room beside her and received the impression of a gentle rebuke for meddling with powers far beyond her comprehension.

Weeks before Halloween of 1999 Holly began to feel an anxious thrum building within her chest. She noticed that odd events and unusual behaviors began to occur in her vicinity with increased frequency. Weakened wards and aged spells would abruptly fail in her presence. Lies and secrets were exposed. Birth control failed. Gamblers won against tremendous odds. Projects that Holly had been futility working on for months were abruptly accomplished in days. Friends and acquaintances that she wanted to see would "just happen" to stop by to visit. The odd occurrences and unusual influence on the behavior of others continued to increase as Lachesis pulled Holly's stressed thread ever tauter.

The final nights leading up to All Hallows' Eve were terrifying for the young witch. Each nocturnal shadow seemed to reverberate with the rasp of Atropos' dreaded shears. Holly resorted to leaving every light in her home on at night and pacing restlessly. Finally, after multiple sleepless nights, the shamefaced and trembling heroine submitted to Andromeda's motherly affection, laying her head in the older woman's lap and allowed the fingers combing through her hair to lull her into slumber.

Holly awoke the morning of October 31st with a gasp, soaked in sweat and intensely certain that she would die before the end of the day.

Holly tried to convince Andromeda to take Teddy and leave but the older woman refused to leave her adopted daughter. So the anxious young witch put their home into a defensive lockdown.

The rebuilt Potter family manor was protected by some of the most powerful and flexible private wards in Britain. Holly augmented the defenses throughout the day.

She positioned Foe-glass, Sneakoscopes, and Secrecy Sensors in strategic positions throughout the home. She activated her Chinese Guardian Lions and instructed the golems to patrol the grounds. She placed a loaded shotgun next to the locked and bolted door.

It was an excruciating long and stressful day for all three members of the little family. Holly was constantly fidgeting, twitched at every imagined sound, and was continuously checking for possible intruders.

Little Teddy quickly became irritated and fussy. He was unaccustomed to being ignored. His godmother was often absent for extended periods of time but Holly was usually a doting and loving parental figure when home.

Andromeda bit her tongue when Teddy scowled at his godmother's agitated pacing.

The older witch picked up and soothed the crying toddler when Holly refused to join Teddy in one of their regular games.

Andromeda was patient as the younger witch insisted on protectively shadowing her throughout the day.

Andromeda slipped from frustrated exasperation to true concern when she realized that her adopted daughter was slipping into another panic attack.

"Occlumency. Now." Andromeda ordered.

Holly gaped at the finger pointed between her large green eyes in bewilderment for a moment before beginning to protest.

"Now." Andromeda repeated crisply.

As the Girl-Who-Lived sighed in resignation and began to move herself into a meditative pose Andromeda allowed herself a hidden victory smirk.

As the mother of a rebellious young metamorphmagus Andromeda had spent hours in front of the mirror attempting to imitate McGonagall's famous imperial eyebrow raise.

Holly Potter was famed for her resistance to the Imperius Curse and other mental influences. Popular media and some more academic sources suggested that Holly might be the most powerful witch in the world alive today. Yet Andromeda knew that the young witch could still be all too easily manipulated by her friends and adopted family.

While Holly meditated, Andromeda read Teddy his favorite book, a magically animated children's book about a monkey, his animal friends, and a wizard with a yellow hat.

As Andromeda read about the naive monkey being rescued from the manipulative crocodile's mouth by his wiser and more prudent friends, Andromeda found herself glancing repeatedly at the broken young girl meditating across the room.

Holly's breathing slowed and deepened. The anxious tension in her shoulders and neck receded. Her clenched fingers slowly relaxed.

When Holly finally emerged from her self-induced trance the younger witch's eyes blinked open slowly, as if awakening from a long nap. The younger witch's large doe eyes were astonishing guileless and trusting in intimate family moments like these.

Andromeda felt a fierce maternal pride within her chest at that hard won trust. Externally the older witch allowed herself a small approving smile. "Better. Now come spend some time with Teddy and me."

Holly hesitated only briefly before agreeing."Okay."

Andromeda suddenly remembered an Halloween tradition she'd shared with Ted and Nymphadora when her husband and daughter had still been alive. "Have you ever eaten Jack-a-Lantern soup?"

"No?" Holly answered quizzically.

"Lets go to the kitchen." Andromeda ordered. She thrust Teddy into Holly's arms, when he curled up contentedly under his godmother's chin and shoved his thumb into his mouth. Bemused, Holly followed the older witch into the kitchen. There Holly was directed to clean and decorate two of the large orange gourds while Andromeda prepared a creamy chicken soup.

Holly quickly turned the two pumpkins into the heads of a smiling monkey and a roaring lion respectively. Teddy cheered delightedly at the appearance of his two favorite characters.

The soup ingredients was poured into the hollowed out interior of the decorated pumpkins. Andromeda laughed at the identical head tilts and matching expressions of intrigued curiosity upon her children's faces while observing her actions. Both pumpkins were then placed inside the spacious oven.

The little family then proceeded to bake small loafs of bread.

Andromeda instructed Holly in the preparation of Lamb's wool, a traditional Halloween drink made from the pulp of roasted apples mixed with milk and seasoned with spices.

Lettuce, chopped apples, walnuts, feta, and cranberries were combined together in a large bowl.

Colcannon, another traditional Halloween dish consisting of mashed potatoes and kale, was prepared with diced bacon added for additional flavor.

Finally, treacle toffee was poured onto a large sheet and allowed to cool while they moved everything into the dining room.

Dinner was absolutely delicious. The little loafs of bread were hollowed out to make bread bowls to receive the thick chicken-and-pumpkin soup. The apple walnut salad complimented the cider drink.

Holly was amused by Andromeda's descriptions of the old Irish tradition of adding small charmed items to colcannon at Halloween in order to predict the future. Two decades of Sybill Trelawney as divination professor at Hogwarts had destroyed any credibility the field might have once had in Britain.

Andromeda had managed to distract Holly while they'd been preparing dinner but it became obvious that the younger witch was beginning to succumb to her returning anxiety as the meal progressed. Holly's eyes began to scan about the room restlessly and she began to fidget within her chair.

Baby Teddy had been enthusiastically devouring his own pureed dinner. Abruptly, a clumsy wave with one pudgy little hand splattered the remainder of his dinner throughout the dining room. Messy orange goo liberally dotted skin, hair, clothing and tabletop.

Teddy froze, bracing for the expected reprimand.

Holly burst into surprised laughter.

Andromeda smiled to herself as the poor girl finally relaxed and made a mental note of the momentary gleam of satisfaction in Teddy's guileless eyes. Her grandson was truly too intelligent for his own good sometimes.

The mood shifted into one of familiar warmth and joy.

Andromeda recounted some amusing stories of Holly's own hijinks as a toddler as relayed by Holly's proud and exasperated godfather. Holly had been a bright and curious child with unusually powerful magical abilities. When combined with Sirius constant exaggeration many of Holly's infantile bouts of accidental magic sounded legendary.

Holly was always desperate to receive any glimpse into her shattered and stolen life with her martyred parents.

Andromeda took a long bracing sip of wine. Then the Black witch had begun to share some of her favorite memories from her deceased daughter's own childhood. Raising a mischievous young metamorphmagus tends to result in a plethora of entertaining stories. And sharing with such an appreciative audience proved to be surprisingly cathartic.

"She had dog ears!?" Holly giggled.

"Like a golden retriever." Andromeda recalled fondly. " With the softest golden fur. And a tail that wagged when she was excited. Nymphadora looked adorable. She had crawled right in amidst the rest of the litter and was pretending to eat the dog food. She kept sneaking looks over at us to see if her disguise was working. Ted declared her to be the cutest pup of the litter and pretended to buy her and took her home. "

Part of what had made the Black witch fall in love with Edward Tonks had been his skill in oration and storytelling. Her beloved husband had often read aloud at night to lull her into peaceful slumber. After their headstrong little girl was born Andromeda had often, to her embarrassment, envied Ted's ability to captivate their growing daughter's imagination with a fanciful narrative or children's tale. Now Andromeda felt a warm glow of pride as captivated doe eyes soaked up Andromeda's own stories.

Andromeda took another sip of wine, internally toasting her own success. "Nymphadora spent a week pretending to be a puppy. She insisted on sleeping on the floor in a bed Ted made with blankets. She barked and yipped instead of speaking. She ate off the floor instead of at the table. She tried licking our faces instead of kissing us goodnight. "

"Finally I asked Sirius to came over and show her his animagus form. Nymphadora was always competitive. She spent an hour trying to turn fully into a dog. When she finally realized that her cousin was a better dog than she was she morphed away the ears and tail, shouted that "Dogs are stupid!", and ran to her room to change into her princess outfit."

Holly laughed again. Teddy showing off his new teeth and added his own infectious giggle to add to the pleasant atmosphere.

"You, mister," Holly mock warned the grinning, pumpkin-splattered baby. "Are not allowed to get into such mischief unless I have a camera with me."

"I have photo albums." Andromeda beamed. "I can show you the one from when Nymphadora was Teddy's age?"

"I'd like that." Holly agreed as she moved to pick the happily babbling baby up from his high chair. "After the little monster's bath?"

Teddy gleefully grabbed an ebony lock of hair and cuddled closer. His features morphed, his light brown hair grew long and black while his dark amber eyes changed to match Holly's famous preternatural green. "Mama!"

Andromeda was pleased to see that Holly no longer flinched at the title. The younger witch's emerald gaze flicked over to check Andi's response but there was no longer fear or panic in the younger witch's eyes. Andromeda smiled reassuringly despite the residual pain in her chest from her missing daughter.

Holly mock growled before showering the squirming, giggling boy with kisses and blowing raspberries on his sensitive neck.

"Blagh!" Holly complained afterwards, wiping at the residual pumpkin left on her lips. "You need to get cleaned up."

"Uh uh!" The toddler refuted. "Ice cream!"

The two witches laughed at his plea.

"Not tonight, luv." Holly answered. "You already had some this afternoon. Besides, if you had ice cream this late then the sugar rush would keep you up all night." She turned to Andromeda, her mouth opening to speak. "Do you-"

The Girl-Who-Lived's eyes suddenly darted toward the dining room window and she tackled Andromeda from her chair onto the hardwood floor.

Spellfire slammed into the dining room in a barrage of light, flames, and explosions. Crockery and silverware shrapnel were blasted throughout the room. The crystal chandelier crashed down onto the table in a shower of glass shards.

Holly instantly realized that her little pumpkin-splattered family was in a very, very dangerous situation.

Voldemort and his Death Eaters had been a pack of power hungry sadists. They had craved validation of their elite status. They had desired to see people trembling at their feet. They had wanted their victims to know that they were going to die. They had needed to gloat, to boast of their power and monologue about the brilliance of their nefarious schemes.

Evil Overlords are boringly predictable.

Competent hired help, however, can be terrifying.

These attackers were efficient. Probably imported mercenaries who wanted to get the job done and get back to their favorite pub in time to watch the game on the telly.

Holly had ensured that her rebuilt family manor was protected by some of the most powerful and flexible wards in Britain with redundant layers of active and passive defenses. It would have taken a large professional team weeks of covert surveillance, assessment and preparation to be able to successfully take down the wards. Holly's education had stated that a complete and simultaneous collapse of the manor's defenses should have been impossible.

Probably yet another example of the inadequate education which Holly had received while attending the illustrious Hogwarts School of Institutionalized Bigotry and Bullying.

Despite her shock and confusion, hardwired reflexes and war veteran instincts propelled Holly into motion.

The war had forced Holly to learn many hard lessons. One rule was that 'If your opponent knows and is prepared for the environment then change it'.

Holly thrust her hand into her mokeskin pouch's extended interior and a small weighted packet of modified Peruvian Instant Darkness Powder instantly rose to meet her questing fingers. Hermione's brilliance was going to save Holly's life once again.

Holly threw the packet underneath the dining room table to smash against the wall. A thick nebulous shadow immediately ballooned upwards, covering the exterior wall of the room and obscuring the family from their assailants.

The induced darkness consumed any light it touched, rendering anyone within its confines effectively blind, and was surprisingly resilient to be both magical and mundane efforts to remove it. Over the next couple of minutes the dense cloud would continue to expand to fill most of the home's main floor and extend out in the surrounding yard for roughly 30-40 meters.

The Black Cloud was a combination stealth and sensory technique that Holly had developed with Hermione which was alternatively lauded and defamed in the media.

Rita Skeeter and the Prophet had complained that Holly's Black Cloud technique demonstrated a significant lack of both Gryffindor chivalry and Hufflepuff fair play.

George had impishly responded to the criticism by introducing a new product at Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, The Hero's Mantle. Apparently despite every Gryffindor's mutual hatred of Snape the Weasley twins had been fascinated by the Potionmaster's cloak. The bitter sallow man had used the dramatic billowing of voluminous dark fabric to terrify students for nearly twenty years. So the twins had arranged a suitable distraction and broken into Snape's office to investigate. There they had discovered the Holy Grail of magical history.

The special effects of Snape's cloak were produced through the application of two simple potions and a series of beauty charms that Snape had learned from the Malfoy library. Charms that were designed to allow the Malfoys' long luxurious locks to billow and gleam in the slightest breeze while remaining clean and tangle-free.

The twins had almost gotten caught in Snape's office due to the volume of their laughter.

But years later George had utilized the information to great effect to protect his adopted little sister. He had used simple black cloaks potioned and charmed to mimic the deceased potionmaster's infamous garb. Then George had added a charm to make a nebula of black mist trail after the wearer. Finally he had charmed the hoods to make the wearer's eyes glow a preternatural green.

Suddenly every child, and an discomforting number of adults, in magical Britain was running around in shadowy black cloaks shouting "Who will stand with me, Britain?", "My mother's death didn't stop her from killing you, Snake Face. Why would my death stop me from killing you again?" and the infamous "I ate a Killing Curse yesterday. I prefer fish and chips." (All quotes available on t-shirts available at WWW. And all phrases that a horribly embarrassed Holly Potter wishes could be forgotten.)

But to return to the actual plotline of this little story...

Holly's family was under attack. The wards were down. Holly's connection to the active and passive defenses of the manor had been severed. And Holly most definitely wasn't shouting a mental "I told you so!" to everyone who had given Holly doubtful looks when she had expressed concerns about Something Bad happing on Halloween.

"Are you okay?" Holly yelled to be heard over the barrage of spellfire. The continued storm of curses shattered china, splintered furniture and smashed photo frames.

"We'll be fine." Andromeda said as she reached out to take her terrified grandson. "Go do your thing."

The blinded mercenaries oriented their spellfire onto the sound of their voices and Teddy's crying.

"Stay low." Holly warned before scrambling through pumpkin soup and shards of glass to reach the bottom shelf of the nearest cabinet. She removed a large reinforced ceramic pot, a special purchase from India by way of the Patil family. Her already bleeding hands allowed her blood to splatter into the shallow indent of the pot's lid without the assistance of a cutting charm.

The pot immediately erupted with a cacophony of hissed excitement. Liquid quicksilver began to boil out of the pot to form long sinuous tendrils. The writhing forms quickly coalesced into an agitated mass of ebony and silver serpents of various types and sizes.

$$Our nest is under attack.$$ Holly hissed in Parseltongue. $$Protect our young. Slay the invaders.$$

The metallic serpents began to slither away in various directions just as the expanding Black Cloud engulfed Holly within its protective darkness.

Holly's senses expanded with a sudden and immense influx of sensations and data in response to the connection.

Holly was aware of every magical item and spell within her Black Cloud. Blood glowed faintly to Holly's mind's eye, allowing her to track her own and Andi's paths through the shrapnel as a series of iridescent drops, streaks and splatters. She was able to intuitively assess the trajectory, vector, spell type and intensity of each spell. She could feel the location, relative movement, and nature of every magical being within her Cloud.

Now concealed and supernaturally aware, Holly moved to summon support.

Two quick taps of her wand against the face of her Auror wristwatch sent out a distress signal with her current position.

Then she cast the modified Patronus Charm. Prongs pawed the floor in agitation, something about her Black Cloud had always irritated her magical guardian, but he resolutely remained to record her message.

"Kingsley, Andromeda and I are under attack at Potter Manor. Multiple assailants, possibly hired professionals. Wards already breached. Please hurry."

The great spectral stag leapt through the dining room wall and raced away to summon assistance. A concerned shout rang out from the assailants in response.

Blindly fired spells continued to penetrate the expanding Black Cloud, although errant curses and hexes were striking the home's exterior as frequently as those actually penetrating through the ragged window frame.

Holly timed the incoming spells carefully before lunging forward to retrieve Andromeda's wand from atop the table.

Holly's wand had shared a "brother" core with Voldemort's. Andromeda's wand had been made from the wood of the same lightning-struck tree as her sister Bellatrix's.

Holly paused momentarily and regarded the wand in bewilderment. Somehow, lying amidst the flames, shattered steel cookware, and deeply gouged hardwood, a delicate hollow stick of walnut encasing a phoenix feather had remained intact and undamaged.

Not for the first time Holly made an internal vow to make the time to study wandlore.

Wands had shaped the history of the magical world. Wands shaped the life and magic of their wielders. Wands were acknowledged to manipulate and alter the very minds and souls of their users. Wands could intelligently swap wielders or choose how effectively to be used against certain opponents. "The wand chooses the wizard" was one of the first truths Holly had learned upon entering the magical world. Yet Wizards seem to view wands as mere dumb tools!?

Holly froze. Both of the phoenix wands in her hands were radiating amusement. Tiny subtle little pulses of magic were moving between the two wands. Communication?

Bloody Hell.

Holly resolutely locked her new discovery in an ever growing mental cabinet titled "Things To Do Later" and refocused on the ongoing battle.

She crawled back through the shrapnel to where Andi was attempting to sooth the crying Teddy and pressed the wand into her hand.

"Thank you." Andromeda said. There was a faint quiver in the older woman's voice that she wasn't quite able to suppress. Holly grimaced at the reminder that Andromeda had been rendered as blind and helpless by the Cloud as the invaders.

Holly squeezed her arm reassuringly. "I'll be quick."

"Be careful." Andromeda corrected her.

"Yes, Mum." Holly acknowledged cheekily. Then she rose to her feet and moved toward the exterior wall, weaving and twisting with supernatural grace through the oncoming spellfire.

Upon reaching the gaping hole in the wall Holly was able to use a series of reflective shields to redirect the oncoming curses back toward the three casters on the lawn. One wizard screamed as his robe burst into flame and fell to the ground to flail about wildly. Another took an explosive curse in the face before pinwheeling backwards into a tree with a meaty thud.

Holly winced. She was probably going to be officially reprimanded and put on suspension for excessive use of force for that one. Again.

The third attacker was easily incapacitated by a quick stunning spell followed by a binding spell.

A fourth intruder was stumbling away using one hand upon the wall of the house to guide his movement as he attempted to escape the Black Cloud.

Holly began to lean forward, considering jumping out the window to pursue the wizard escaping along the wall, when she noticed a small box lying on the ground immediately below and angled toward the window.

Something in the ironbound chest was radiating increasing heat. Holly stretched out her senses.

The box reeked of ancient magic and ash and blood. There was the subtle rumble of a waking giant. The creaks and groans of liquid fire being forced through cracked rock. Malicious intelligence. Burning hunger. All overlaid with a Dark taint.

"Andi," Holly snapped as she jumped back. "Flame-freezing charms then shield!"

The magic from the chest was beginning to reach out hungry tendrils of heat. There was a sense of screeching overstressed metal being tested beyond its strength.

Holly reached out to verify that the expected anti-apparition and anti-portkey wards were truly in place. Yep, no easy escape this time.

Holly began to swing her wand arm in a giant counter-clockwise circular motion parallel to the ground.

Before artificial timepieces had become common moving in a counter-clockwise direction had been called Widdershins. Originating from Middle Low German's weddersinnes, meaning literally "against the way", or from widersinnen "to go against".

For thousands of years European wizards and witches had indoctrinated their magic with their subjective view of the sun's motion in the Northern Hemisphere. A clockwise motion indicated acceptance of and submission to the natural cycles of the world.

Widdershins however... Well, Holly had learned to excel at defiance.

As Holly spun her wand she poured her magic into the construction of a metaphysical funnel which would defy nature.

A giant spinning whirlpool of mystical energy began to form, centered around a core of inverted gravity. Upon the abstract dynamic surface of her creation Holly mentally etched runes to absorb and disperse energy, to contain force and to direct it upwards. She anchored her construct above the destabilizing Surtr Box and angled it away from her already ravaged home.

Finally, wary of a giant fiery tornado rampaging across the countryside, she added a self-destruct countdown as a safety feature.

Construct created, anchored and self-sustaining, Holly disconnected herself from her creation and braced for the imminent explosion. A quick barrier shield charm filled in the gap left by the missing window. Holly scrambled back to crouch down on one knee directly in front of Andi and Teddy and cast her strongest bunker shield.

"Less than fifteen seconds." Holly warned.

"What is it?" Andi asked.

" A Surtr Box." Holly said. "Like a combination incendiary bomb and a fiendfyre Jack-in-the-Box."

Andromeda sighed. "Why couldn't they have burnt down Grimmauld Place? No one liked that old place anyway."

Holly snorted. "Kreacher would have eaten anyone who dared."

The box exploded.

The vortex Holly had created fed hungrily upon the energy of the mystical incendiary, howling like a giant enraged beast.

Even through closed eyelids Holly flinched from the searing brilliance of the flaring core.

Holly's hurried creation twisted and buckled and shifted sideways before finally breaking apart.

The flimsy window barrier collapsed.

A roaring wave of flame and pressure thrust into the house, splashing over every exposed surface.

Holly could feel herself being forced backwards behind her poorly anchored bunker shield. She slid back across the hardwood floor until she came in contact with Andromeda. The older witch was maintaining her own protective shield with her right hand and clutching Teddy to her chest with her left arm but she leaned forward to brace Holly with her shoulder.

Magic is heavily influenced by intent and symbolism.

They were two women supporting each other while sheltering an innocent babe between their bodies. Although the gesture was unplanned the bunker shield immediately solidified and locked into place.

The pressure from the explosion gradually died down then reversed as air rushed back in to refill the temporary vacuum.

Holly collapsed to the floor. She felt like she'd just carried Hagrid all the way from Hogsmeade to the front door of Hogwarts. Then carried the friendly half-giant up to the Gryffindor common room. And then somebody had thrown her on a merry-go-round and wouldn't let it stop.

I wonder if there is a mushroom cloud above the house right now? Holly wondered dazedly.

She stared blearily at the singed fibers of the oriental rug centimeters in front of her face. It was a long thin runner which was non-skid on one side. Andi had brought the rug with her when she had moved into the rebuilt manor. The other witch and her husband had purchased the rug for the hallway of their old home to protect Tonks when she kept slipping and falling on the bare hardwood.

Holly frowned. Andi deserved better than to see her new home with all its possessions and memories go up in flames.

Holly gradually became aware that the older witch was kneeling next to her with her wand next to Holly's ear. The eardrum popped. Sound started to return and the spinning of the earth began to slow. The other eardrum popped and Holly was able to push herself off the floor and back into a seated position.

The Black Cloud had been burnt away. Small fires, smoke, and black soot covered every visible surface.

But the little family had survived.

Andromeda cast a bubble-head charm around Holly's head. The younger witch gratefully took a deep breath of smoke-free air.

"Thanks." Holly rasped. Her throat felt singed and raw. "How long was I out?"

"Less than two minutes." Andi assured her. Both Teddy and Andi had small blood tracks from their ears. Poor little Teddy was crying.

"Do I still have eyebrows?" Holly asked.

"Completely gone." Andi deadpanned. "Along with your eyelashes and all of the rest of the hair on your head."

Holly's hand shot up to reassure herself that she did, in fact, still retain her ebony locks. "Parvati and Lavendar tortured me for over an hour last week shaping and waxing these ruddy strips of hair!"

"You poor thing." Andi mocked. "I've heard horrible things about those Deluxe Spa Treatments."

"The smoothies were fantastic." Holly admitted grudgingly.

"Silver lining to every cloud." the older witch observed.

"Next time they want me to get a manicure." Holly whined as she forced herself back to her feet. "And I know that I'll just end up punching someone the next day then getting in trouble for ruining a nail."

Andi smirked. "Have many times have you punched my bigoted little nephew now?"

"One more than Hermione." Holly tiredly cheered. "Narcissa sent me a thank you card. Said that she wished that someone had trained Lucius to behave like this back when he was younger."

Andi smiled and shook her head. "You definitely inherited Aunt Dorea's temper."

Holly grinned in delight at the compliment.

"There was at least one more outside." Holly warned. "He was close enough to the box that he probably roasted himself when he barbecued his three friends. There were probably others guarding the doors."

The three assailants on the lawn had been a distraction. Whoever was attacking had respected Holly's reputation enough to suspect that she would survive even a surprise attack during dinner. So the three on the lawn were likely disposable hired help, gullible idiots, or victims of the Imperius Curse intended only to keep her focus off of the incendiary box powering up below the window.

Vengeful Death Eaters had imperiused her friends to attack her before.

Holly had been forced to be a backseat observer for years to Voldemort's depravity and sadistic cruelty courtesy of the spiritual parasite in her head. If someone had just sautéed three of her friends on her own front yard Holly was going to hunt down the guilty parties and start putting that vile knowledge to good use.

"I'll guard the hallway while you take the giant hole in the wall?" Holly offered.

"That's fine." Andi agreed, continuing to rock and soothe Teddy. "Don't worry about putting out the fires. That can wait until the Aurors have arrived."

Holly gingerly moved to sit in the wooden armchair between the two china display cabinets, somewhat sheltered by their wooden mass but still retaining a good range of vision. She then cast a quick alarm barrier to either end of the hall to detect anyone who might try to approach while disillusioned.

"I think the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy is a myth." Holly said as she glanced through the broken wall into the black and smoking crater which had replaced the flower bed and yard. "We think it's a big secret but our lives are actually recorded on secret hidden cameras to use as clips for a comedy show. Ninety-nine percent of the world is actually pointing at us and laughing when we walk around town in fishing waders and Scottish kilts, try to carry on conversations with stop lights, and generally act like escaped lunatics from an 18th Century mental asylum."

Holly started to use a subtle Aguamenti to put out the nearest blaze but quickly stopped at Andi's pointed glare.

"So on tomorrow night's show," Holly continued. "The audience will see a picture of this crater and watch a short video of a miniature nuclear bomb going off in our yard. Then the host will announce that the crazy wizards thought that they erased all evidence that anything happened and obliviated everyone that saw anything suspicious. And the crowd will start laughing hysterically."

The older woman eyed her in concern. "Concussion?"

Holly waved off her concern. "It's been two weeks. How long can something as unimportant for a Gryffindor as a brain take to heal?"

Multiple distant "pops" of individuals arriving via apparition could be heard.

Andi looked out to identify the figures in the trademark red robes approaching. "Aurors are here."

Holly frowned and glanced at her watch. "I haven't decided if an incompetent government or a corrupt one is more dangerous."

"Fortunately, we are a part of the British magical community." Andi observed wryly. "We've been able to enjoy both concurrently for hundreds of years."

Holly leaned forward slightly to peer out at the approaching Aurors. She didn't see Kingsley. Zacharias Smith had been trying to ruin to her reputation ever since that that love potion incident in 6th year. If the tall blond man near the back was Smith he'd be likely to go running off to the Prophet as an "Unanimous Source" as soon as possible.

Holly furrowed her brow. Why had the Aurors apparated in so far from the house? Erecting anti-apparition and anti-portkey wards was fairly standard procedure when attacking a home but the Surtr Box would have demolished any temporary external wards.

The Aurors would only need to approach from such a distance if new wards had been erected.

But why would the Aurors come strolling up to the house so confidently if there were signs that the home was still under attack?

"Andi," Holly said as calmly as she could. She pointedly held up another packet of Instant Darkness Powder. "Have you checked Edward's nappy? Something smells off."

The older woman tensed in understand. "I think I have clean nappies and a change of clothes in the kitchen."

Holly nodded in agreement. The door to the basement was in the kitchen. They'd installed a saferoom in the basement. Separate wards. Reinforced walls, floor, and ceiling. And a vanishing cabinet connected to a matching one in the office of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes.

Holly stepped up to the gaping hole in the wall and waved in acknowledgement to the approaching Aurors while Andromeda began to carry Teddy toward the kitchen.

A claxon sounded from the alarm barrier Holly had placed toward the front of the house.

Andromeda whirled and extended her wand arm to fend off the curse which had been cast at her back. She clutched Teddy protectively to her chest while her other arm unleashed a torrent of curses, hexes and jinxes toward the intruders in her home like a maternal goddess of war.

Cawing ravens shot from her wand to target exposed eyes with gleaming beaks and dripping talons. A summoned writhing cloud of toxins spun forward with a discomforting sensation of amused and malicious intelligence. 6-inch long scorpions slipped into the walls of the home and scurried toward the invaders like barracudas swimming through water.

Holly held up the packet of Darkness Powder in silent offer.

Andi scowled then glanced down to the infant in her arms before grudgingly nodding in acceptance.

The older witch sent off a storm of violent spellwork to drive her opponents back. Holly particularly admired the extra corkscrew-and-flick Andi gave to her Entrail-Expelling Curse which caused the seemingly errant spell to bounce off the wall to strike her opponent from behind his shield. The witches of the Black family had been perfecting their viciousness and cruelty for hundreds of years.

As Andromeda's target screamed and collapsed, temporarily distracting the other attackers, Andi stepped back and Holly moved forward to take her place.

Holly dropped the bag of Darkness Powder on the floor then began the familiar motions for one of her preferred chain of spells.

The packet of Darkness Powder ineffectively splattered across the floor in moist dark clumps.

Holly blinked, staring downward for a moment in bewilderment, her fatigued mind struggling to comprehend the failure of her greatest defense.

Holly caught a glimpse of a triumphant smirk from one of the mercenaries.

Someone had finally figured out a way to counter her Black Cloud.

The team of Aurors charging across the cratered lawn began to send curses at her through the shattered wall of the dining room.

The gory remains of two of Andi's opponents already lay the floor, one still and the other ineffectively reaching for his own ejected organs. Another assailant thrashed desperately on his knees trying to fend off the venomous animals swarming over his weakening form. Two more intruders stood farther back, calmly shielding each other and systematically vanishing the various threats Andi had sent in their direction.

Again Holly had to wonder how many of the assailants were actually imperiused victims forced to act as cannon fodder for the true mercenaries.

There was a mad backwards scramble toward the kitchen while Holly tried to fend off the spellfire of seven attackers simultaneously.

An incoming Killing Curse came in high. While Holly was positioning a piece of rubble to deflect the spell a cutting curse abruptly arced up from below her shield and sliced deeply into her left thigh. The Killing Curse slipped past inches from her shoulder and Holly half-turned to ensure that Andi had seen and avoided the curse.

Holly stumbled, left hand leaving a long bloody streak on the wall, but she was able to remain upright.

Andromeda shot a flight of barbed arrows past her into the pursuing invaders.

As Holly deflected a trio of curses back with her wandhand, she used her left hand to claim control of the stretch of hallway she had marked. An animated bramble of sharp metal thorns erupted from the red streak of her blood.

The leading pursuer tried to force his way through the nightmarish rose bush.

Holly grimaced at his agonized screams.

Neville had taught her that spell after the war. The normally kind boy had allowed his imagination to delve into some dark places while struggling to protect children from the torture and depredations of Voldemort's Death Eaters.

Holly's desperate retreat finally allowed her to clear the kitchen doorway.

A toxic yellow curse cut through a lock of her hair before causing the kettle atop the stove to melt. A thin streak of orange light caused the icebox to briefly shudder before shattering into red sand. The walls were gaining more holes than a loaf of Swiss cheese and a large percentage of the house was still on fire from the Surtr Box.

Holly planted herself between her family and the approaching invaders. Then, visualizing the pull of gravity on the front of the house suddenly increasing one hundredfold, she yanked her wand downward with a two-handed grip and a wordless Herculean cry. Her wand twitched and bent within her bloody grip but she persisted. The portion of the home containing the invaders collapsed in a thunderous roar.

Holly collapsed against the nearest countertop, dizzy and exhausted.

Andi managed a strangled laugh. "You can't manage a simple spell to fold laundry but you can pull that off without a proper incantation!?"

Holly smiled tiredly. "I'm not good for much. But what I can do I do very well."

"Let's get out of here." Andi said. She cast a quick Colloportus to secure the backdoor with the familiar squelching noise before storing her wand inside its holster. She then moved to support Holly with her right arm, her left arm still occupied with holding the crying Teddy, while they limped toward the basement stairs.

By the time Andromeda had noticed movement outside the kitchen window she was unable to do anything but pivot to shield her two children with her own body.

A purple curse burst through the glass and struck Andromeda across the back. She gave a pained gasp and collapsed to the floor, Teddy still held protectively to her chest.

Holly struck her head on the cabinet while falling.

Holly's wand movement was clumsy and her enunciation slurred but her weak Expulso Curse struck the rightmost of the two dark figures leaning in through the window. When both blurred figures fell backwards Holly blinked dumbly in confusion.

Ah, concussion. Double vision.

Fantastic.

The backdoor burst apart in a shower of kindling.

Holly cackled tiredly. She had read the story of the Three Little Pigs to Teddy just the previous night. And Holly had eaten bacon with her dinner.

Holly fired a Stunning Spell out of the opened entryway, more hoping to keep the wolf at a distance than with the expectation of actually hitting him.

Teddy was screaming.

Teddy wasn't a piglet. Dudley and Vernon were the pigs.

Teddy was her little wolf, her adorable little cub.

A silver snake flicked its forked tongue against her reaching fingers. It tickled.

$$Help me$$ Holly pled in Parseltongue.

Streaks of quicksilver moved toward the backdoor and out the kitchen window.

Voices shouted in surprise from outside the shattered and burning home. Spells were fired.

Holly crawled through the broken glass, cookery shrapnel, and clots of rotten milk. Finally brought down to the level of the serpents she had rejected for so long.

The previous year Minister Kingsley had provided Holly with an experimental new portkey after she'd been attacked for the third time following the "end" of the war.

Holly hadn't understood the arithmancy behind the prototype device.

She understood that the Unspeakables tasked to the project had actually been trying to create an enhanced form of time turner which incorporated aspects of phoenixes' teleportation abilities.

Holly understood that Hermione and the Unspeakables working on the device were extremely enthusiastic and could spend hour after hour after excruciatingly boring hour discussing the laws, theorems and concepts behind the device until Holly wished she could return to the comparatively entertaining History classes with Binns.

Holly understood that she was only supposed to use the device in the most extreme of emergencies because there was an estimated 1 in 5 chance of serious injury. Kingsley had made her go down to the Department of Mysteries and see firsthand the headless corpse of the last chicken that the Unspeakables had try to transport using the device. Then, standing over the headless chicken, she'd been forced to verbally promise to only use the portkey in the most dire of circumstances.

Which this situation qualified for.

She was outnumbered, injured, exhausted and poorly positioned. Her assailants were organized and prepared to counter her most powerful trump cards. The invaders had been firing lethal curses throughout the running battle with no attempts at capture or negotiation. Holly's requests for assistance had either been blocked or backup had been delayed.

Holly clumsily pulled the chain of the prototype device up from within her blouse.

She thrust an extendable loop of chain over Teddy's head. Despite her double vision she could see that his face were flushed dark red in distress and tears were running down his plump cheeks. His chubby little hands were reaching for her beseechingly.

Mordred and Morganna, was she about to kill her godson? Had this device even been tested for use on a toddler? Were normal portkeys even safe for kids to use?

Holly pulled Teddy close and bent over Andromeda so that the chain could reach around the older witch's head as well.

Was Andi already dead? Would Holly be responsible for the deaths of every member of this family?

Holly fumbled open the protective case of the prototype device to expose the activation key inside.

"Avada Kedavra!" shouted a witch from the doorway.

Holly Potter twisted the key.

A barbed hook imbedded itself within her heart in a flare of green, gold and red lights and yanked her sideways.


End file.
